are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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