I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
