so explain again why im purple
no
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
