I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
