Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
