yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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