I accidentally had phone sex last night
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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