covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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