this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
cat food counts as protein by the way
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
