you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
