Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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