I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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