Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
