i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
