Farmville is her only friend.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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