This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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