they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom