He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
