the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
