check it out our google latitudes are spooning
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
