btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dick very happy bro
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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