there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
