i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
