Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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