Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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