i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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