i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
