Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
