...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
