Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
