I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
