I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
