my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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