I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So much rum. So many feels.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
