Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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