I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
