i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize