Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
