pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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