So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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