Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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