My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
