did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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