I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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