I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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