I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
