I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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