Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
