Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He better not be in your backpack
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
