He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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