i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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