she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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