I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
