I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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