I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
