just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
