does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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