You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
