1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My hand turned me down
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
