Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
