Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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