Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
