it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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